The fire is still bright, the sky is always dark here in the den. Enjoy some more time with me if you would.
So those of us here in Saskatchewan have just got a BIG tax break right? I'm a bit confused about it though. Income tax breaks generally favor the wealthy, and are not as all encompasing as the government would like you to believe. So here I'm going to pose some questions. Fire some answers please.
Increasing the base benefit will help only those that are already above the poverty line. If your goal is to help the province, wouldn't it make sense to make sure everyone can benefit from our economic windfall?
I've heard complaints that not enough was put towards debt reduction. From what I understand, the interest on our debt is also dependant on how much the debt is and how much we have sitting there to ward against unforseen circumstances, or if we had to pay RIGHT NOW how much could we put together. So having a large 'rainy day fund' like the NDP set up is actually more economically responsible. Am I reading this wrong? Is it not true that the more money we have in surplus the lower our interest rates are, and the faster we can repay the debt at a lower rate?
A better tax benefit for everyone would have been to reduce or eliminate the provincial sales tax. Everyone has to pay that, and wouldn't eliminating this also produce a larger incentive to buy things, which if I'm again understanding this, would create a better economic climate?
How many of you believe Wall (A twice failed businessman who ran a family farm worth millions into the groud) had ANYTHING to do with our current prosperity? IF you do, can you please give examples. They had better be more than 'Businesses do better under a conservative government' because that, as far as I can tell is false.
Unrelated question: Duane is back. Think he'll want to try to de-criminalize prostitution again?
Discuss.
Friday, October 31, 2008
I'ma gunna beat some ignorant Presidential people
Come in, enjoy this little blaze I've got going. It's a beautiful night, the weather is fine, but I'm at unease. I'm a little angry, but mostly I'm completely amazed at the ignorance of people in that wonderful country below us. Oh yeah I stole some home made curied mayonnaise from that crazy Cenobyte for her misuse of a word. Enjoy it mixed into this flaked turkey I have. Crackers too.
Ok so for the past two weeks we've had to listen to McCain/Palin denounce socialism like it's some vicious disease and now I listen to Caribou Barbie make a personal attack on socialism. She claims it's used in other countries where they destroy entrepenurialism and grows government. She then used a logical falicy in saying that since Obama wants to 'redistribute wealth' then he's going to make more government and to pay for that he'll have to actually raise taxes. She also made the claim that those countries that use socialism are countries where people are not actually free.
So let's break this down. Socialism as I understand it is imposing a social order that is based off of the equality of man and that we're all responsible for each other. As a collective we're far greater and stronger than individuals clawing for our own personal gain. Socialism employed in this way would actually create more job growth and overall prosparity, increasing the overall 'pie' that we have so that everyone can benefit from it to a greater degree. This has always been the case but since pure capitalists see the threat to their personal greed, they make this false claim that business would suffer.
A buddy of mine who's business went under didn't go under because of socialism, in fact he is very much a socialist in how he ran it. No, he went under because a bigger business overextended itself, and in a capitalist system you can always claim a 'oops' and walk away from your debts. 30 grand my friend lost because of another's greed. In fact all these problems the US is experiencing in their markets is due to unfettered capitalism. Greed driven political systems dehumanize people and place value where it shouldn't be, on a non-real idea of money that is centered in bits of paper that are essentially without value. It wasn't socialism that caused that market crash however it was the very socialist idea of using government money to prop up that market that is apparently going to save them.
Now let's address that claim that socialism is used in countries that aren't free. Well look around you fellow Canadians. Do you feel more or less free than the United States? It'd be a bit of a spectrum but I think for the most part we're just as free as they are, and we employ a great many socialist ideals. Canada is a left leaning country. What about France? They've been a whole heap of free for many many years. Those folks are the rulers of socialism. They also have a healthy economy and are a strong part of the EU.
Now the more taxes and growing government? Do these people not look at what their own party has done? The USA has had the largest governmental increase since The New Deal. Something like a 30% growth in government departments and services. Mostly associated with removing the freedom of their own people.
I'm also listening to McCain speak of buying bad mortgages to save the housing market. This is in essence a completely socialist ideal. Do these people have any concept of reality, of the things they say? Do they know that their claims and jibes are completely untruthful? I'm so sick of politics in general, including our recent election and the false ideas that political parties implant in the public to induce fear. I've run into so many people without any real concept of how these things influence one another, that the problem isn't entirely on the politicians side. It's us too folks, we're not out there seperating the lies they tell from the truth of the situation.
So here's the deal. The public starts paying attention to the real issues that happen around us. We start reading and researching the way of the world around us, and become much better informed. If we as a public demand more from the politicians and media around us then perhaps we'll get better. Of course it is much easier to sit around and make excuses so feel free to do that too. Just don't expect anything to get better.
Ok so for the past two weeks we've had to listen to McCain/Palin denounce socialism like it's some vicious disease and now I listen to Caribou Barbie make a personal attack on socialism. She claims it's used in other countries where they destroy entrepenurialism and grows government. She then used a logical falicy in saying that since Obama wants to 'redistribute wealth' then he's going to make more government and to pay for that he'll have to actually raise taxes. She also made the claim that those countries that use socialism are countries where people are not actually free.
So let's break this down. Socialism as I understand it is imposing a social order that is based off of the equality of man and that we're all responsible for each other. As a collective we're far greater and stronger than individuals clawing for our own personal gain. Socialism employed in this way would actually create more job growth and overall prosparity, increasing the overall 'pie' that we have so that everyone can benefit from it to a greater degree. This has always been the case but since pure capitalists see the threat to their personal greed, they make this false claim that business would suffer.
A buddy of mine who's business went under didn't go under because of socialism, in fact he is very much a socialist in how he ran it. No, he went under because a bigger business overextended itself, and in a capitalist system you can always claim a 'oops' and walk away from your debts. 30 grand my friend lost because of another's greed. In fact all these problems the US is experiencing in their markets is due to unfettered capitalism. Greed driven political systems dehumanize people and place value where it shouldn't be, on a non-real idea of money that is centered in bits of paper that are essentially without value. It wasn't socialism that caused that market crash however it was the very socialist idea of using government money to prop up that market that is apparently going to save them.
Now let's address that claim that socialism is used in countries that aren't free. Well look around you fellow Canadians. Do you feel more or less free than the United States? It'd be a bit of a spectrum but I think for the most part we're just as free as they are, and we employ a great many socialist ideals. Canada is a left leaning country. What about France? They've been a whole heap of free for many many years. Those folks are the rulers of socialism. They also have a healthy economy and are a strong part of the EU.
Now the more taxes and growing government? Do these people not look at what their own party has done? The USA has had the largest governmental increase since The New Deal. Something like a 30% growth in government departments and services. Mostly associated with removing the freedom of their own people.
I'm also listening to McCain speak of buying bad mortgages to save the housing market. This is in essence a completely socialist ideal. Do these people have any concept of reality, of the things they say? Do they know that their claims and jibes are completely untruthful? I'm so sick of politics in general, including our recent election and the false ideas that political parties implant in the public to induce fear. I've run into so many people without any real concept of how these things influence one another, that the problem isn't entirely on the politicians side. It's us too folks, we're not out there seperating the lies they tell from the truth of the situation.
So here's the deal. The public starts paying attention to the real issues that happen around us. We start reading and researching the way of the world around us, and become much better informed. If we as a public demand more from the politicians and media around us then perhaps we'll get better. Of course it is much easier to sit around and make excuses so feel free to do that too. Just don't expect anything to get better.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
On Funny
Come in, come in, the fire is warm and the jokes are funny, while outside it is cold and bitter. I love contrasts. So yesterday I had to do a presentation on what is funny. It went over smashingly. It perfectly encapsulated my view that what we find funny are things we also find offensive. It's laugh or cry. At times half the room would be laughing, at others, they'd be moaning, or shooting me dirty looks. It was rather funny. :) So I share the presentation with you. I wish I'd recorded it so that you could get the full effect.
Good morning. How is everyone? Ahh excellent, mostly catatonic like usual. Less questions for me at the end.
This morning I am going to talk to you all about humor. What is funny? Why do we laugh at certain things? Why does this differ between people and cultures? Well lucky for me, I happened across a rather interesting bit of writing that broke down the stimuli of humor in relation to psychology, and I’ve written the name of that book behind me on the board.
Sultanoff, Steven M. "Integrating Humor into Psychotherapy." in Play Therapy with Adults. Ed. Charles Schaefer, New York, NY: Wiley and Sons, 2002.
In it, Sultanoff has broken down the seven situations that all humans find humor in. Interestingly enough each of these categories has something in common with one another.
First we have Incongruity: that being things placed together that we don’t usually associate with one another. The article mentions Oxymorons, but I find most observational humor that stand up comedians do fall into this category as well. Or of course, I’m always amused when I see a sign that says ‘We’re here to help’ in any governmental agency.
Second is Absurdity, ridiculousness, and ludicrousness: exaggerations, over the top events, things that seem so out of place in the ‘normal’ flow of a persons perceptions will fall into this category. Such as the definition between kinky and perverted: can anyone tell me that one? Kinky is when you use a feather to tickle your lover. Perverted, that’s when you use the whole chicken.
Third we have Unexpected Future: This is where the expected result is replaced. Slapstick, punchlines, and cartoons are cited in the article. Groucho Marx telling us how he shot an elephant in his pajamas last night ‘How he got in my pajamas I’ll neva know…’
Fourth we have Pleasant Surprise: a nice event that tickles us in a way to amuse. For me I was rushing to my 212 survey class last year, and grabbed a Coke Zero from the vending machine down by Printing Services. When it fell out I noticed a sticker across the label. The first thing I thought was ‘Great, advertisement on my pop now.’ Instead when I pick it up it says ‘You’ve won $50.00.’ So I look around. I’m confused because this shouldn’t happen, and I read the label again, and it’s directing me to head on up to financial services. So I do, and yep, apparently Coca-Cola vending services hands out these ‘scholarships.’ I sign the sheet, answer the skill testing question, get my fifty bucks, end up late to class, but it was the BEST Coke Zero ever! Had to tell everyone when I got to class. Part of the humor of that situation lies also in our fifth category.
Being startled: Practical jokes and such fall into this category, but I’m not sure if it’s the subject or the joker that is more amused. When I got that drink, I looked around because I expected someone to jump out with a camera going ‘HAH! Got’cha!’
Sixth we have ‘Getting It.’ Jokes where our intellect is prodded into action, such as puns, and riddles but also jokes where insider knowledge reveals the joke. My favorite riddle is ‘No sooner spoken than broken.’ I personally am unable to keep the answer to that riddle.
Lastly of course is the Emotional Chaos Remembered in Tranquility: the old ‘Ok so remember when this happened!’ It results in two responses, such as ‘Wasn’t very funny at the time,’ or ‘Well you had to be there.’ Here the article cites survivor groups such as cancer patients who use humor to deal with living through the ordeal. For me it was the birth of my first child. Now ladies, especially those who have had children, do not think that for one moment I am belittling the ordeal of child birth, but for those of us who are dedicated fathers and partners, it’s not all smiles and laughs either. It was three days of labor for my ex-wife to birth my eldest. And she was so oversensitive to every stimulus that I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t turn on the TV, and for her to get any sleep I had to get her onto a chair in the shower, let the hot water flow while I massaged her upper back, and then put her to bed while I rolled a cold can of Sprite up and down her lower back. So Three days, no sleep, the only food was when she did fall asleep, I’d sprint down to the 7-11 that was a few houses down and scarf down one of their belly bomb burgers, and rush back.
The event finally is getting to the point so to speak, and my parents come into town from Esterhazy, and my mom has brought me a WONDERFUL corned beef sandwich, hot mustard, red onion, cheddar cheese, on rye. Oh my, I just about fell over in ecstasy right there. I take one bite, one delicious, savoury bite, chewing slowly oh so slowly, enjoying every last little flavour that is bursting in my mouth, to be yanked away by the pained moans of my then wife. I put down the sandwich, swallow, rush over, and take her hand while taking the cloth I had to wipe her forehead, to be shoved away abruptly with this shout: ‘Oh you stink like onions! If you don’t get rid of that I swear I’ll puke then kill you!’
So there I am scrambling down to the gift shop in the hospital, hoping A) my baby isn’t born in the time I’m gone, and B) that I can find a toothbrush and toothpaste so my loooovely partner doesn’t kill me.
My dad ate my sandwich.
Did you notice the one thread that ties them all together? It’s surprise, or offense. Humor is universally based on these seven traits, which could best be described as things that will either make you cry or laugh, and it is the individual response that dictates which it will be.
The article stresses this. Here is a direct quote from Sultanoff: While one’s “sense of humor” is highly idiosyncratic and individualized, it is based on one’s awareness and perception of a stimulus that is presented in the context of one or more of the universal traits. The universal qualities of the stimulus-receiver interaction increase the probability of a specific event being perceived as humorous.
Once a stimulus is perceived as humorous, it will trigger a reaction within the individual. This reaction may be physiological (laughter), cognitive (wit), or emotional (mirth), or a combination of these experiences. Therefore, the total sensation of a humorous event is a complex interaction of a stimulus, an individual’s perception, and the resulting reaction.
We are shaped by the experiences around us. My own humor could best be described as somewhat twisted. Let me demonstrate: By the way, if body hair offends you, cover your ears. What is the last noise a pubic hair makes before it hits the ground? Pbbt. Yeah, somewhat funny, funnier part though? My mom told me that joke! The humor of my family generally follows this pattern, and has shaped my own view of what will in the end offend me, which isn’t much.
As individuals are shaped by their experiences, those experiences are shaped by their culture. This shows particularily well in the idea of humor within First Nations, as compared to European culture. Crudely put, white folks don’t know how to laugh at themselves that well. There are reports from men in Cartier’s first journeys who are absolutely startled that the Indians can all make fun and laugh at their Chiefs. This flows through to modern times with articles from Drew Hayden Taylor who make a mock of the residential school pay outs, wondering when the victims of the Battle of Little Big Horn are going to sue the Sioux for their losses those many years ago. Or the article I’ve handed to you, you can read later.
Certain cultures seem to build within themselves a higher capacity for humor, and place its value somewhere in their spectrum of importance. For Europeans, how many times do we say ‘Stop being silly’ or ‘This isn’t a time to joke around!’ Well, it would appear for other cultures they would consider those the exact times to joke around and be silly.
Examples of that, are stories passed down in families that describe an elder going to town dressed in long underwear, and because of that misunderstanding, he got free groceries and a ride home from the Indian Agent when he was tired. Or my own family’s story of the first outhouse they had placed on the reserve.
For a broader example I would suggest you all look to find some sweat lodge stories. While these ceremonies are highly ritualistic and on the prairies were a form of healing and cleansing, larger sweats, for groups of men or women were done with a more communal idea in mind and the stories they used in these situations were all dealing with that most taboo of subjects: sex. All of them are absolutely hilarious, and treat the subject with a very easy and comfortable manner.
It’s hard not to look at these differences and not be able to see that in European culture, humor is seen as a lower form of communication, and in First Nations, it is a primary way to deal with those events of life that aren’t always the easiest. Personally I agree, I’d rather laugh than cry, I’d rather be amused and see the joy of a situation rather than the dour attitude that most ‘serious’ things entail. How about all of you?
Good morning. How is everyone? Ahh excellent, mostly catatonic like usual. Less questions for me at the end.
This morning I am going to talk to you all about humor. What is funny? Why do we laugh at certain things? Why does this differ between people and cultures? Well lucky for me, I happened across a rather interesting bit of writing that broke down the stimuli of humor in relation to psychology, and I’ve written the name of that book behind me on the board.
Sultanoff, Steven M. "Integrating Humor into Psychotherapy." in Play Therapy with Adults. Ed. Charles Schaefer, New York, NY: Wiley and Sons, 2002.
In it, Sultanoff has broken down the seven situations that all humans find humor in. Interestingly enough each of these categories has something in common with one another.
First we have Incongruity: that being things placed together that we don’t usually associate with one another. The article mentions Oxymorons, but I find most observational humor that stand up comedians do fall into this category as well. Or of course, I’m always amused when I see a sign that says ‘We’re here to help’ in any governmental agency.
Second is Absurdity, ridiculousness, and ludicrousness: exaggerations, over the top events, things that seem so out of place in the ‘normal’ flow of a persons perceptions will fall into this category. Such as the definition between kinky and perverted: can anyone tell me that one? Kinky is when you use a feather to tickle your lover. Perverted, that’s when you use the whole chicken.
Third we have Unexpected Future: This is where the expected result is replaced. Slapstick, punchlines, and cartoons are cited in the article. Groucho Marx telling us how he shot an elephant in his pajamas last night ‘How he got in my pajamas I’ll neva know…’
Fourth we have Pleasant Surprise: a nice event that tickles us in a way to amuse. For me I was rushing to my 212 survey class last year, and grabbed a Coke Zero from the vending machine down by Printing Services. When it fell out I noticed a sticker across the label. The first thing I thought was ‘Great, advertisement on my pop now.’ Instead when I pick it up it says ‘You’ve won $50.00.’ So I look around. I’m confused because this shouldn’t happen, and I read the label again, and it’s directing me to head on up to financial services. So I do, and yep, apparently Coca-Cola vending services hands out these ‘scholarships.’ I sign the sheet, answer the skill testing question, get my fifty bucks, end up late to class, but it was the BEST Coke Zero ever! Had to tell everyone when I got to class. Part of the humor of that situation lies also in our fifth category.
Being startled: Practical jokes and such fall into this category, but I’m not sure if it’s the subject or the joker that is more amused. When I got that drink, I looked around because I expected someone to jump out with a camera going ‘HAH! Got’cha!’
Sixth we have ‘Getting It.’ Jokes where our intellect is prodded into action, such as puns, and riddles but also jokes where insider knowledge reveals the joke. My favorite riddle is ‘No sooner spoken than broken.’ I personally am unable to keep the answer to that riddle.
Lastly of course is the Emotional Chaos Remembered in Tranquility: the old ‘Ok so remember when this happened!’ It results in two responses, such as ‘Wasn’t very funny at the time,’ or ‘Well you had to be there.’ Here the article cites survivor groups such as cancer patients who use humor to deal with living through the ordeal. For me it was the birth of my first child. Now ladies, especially those who have had children, do not think that for one moment I am belittling the ordeal of child birth, but for those of us who are dedicated fathers and partners, it’s not all smiles and laughs either. It was three days of labor for my ex-wife to birth my eldest. And she was so oversensitive to every stimulus that I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t turn on the TV, and for her to get any sleep I had to get her onto a chair in the shower, let the hot water flow while I massaged her upper back, and then put her to bed while I rolled a cold can of Sprite up and down her lower back. So Three days, no sleep, the only food was when she did fall asleep, I’d sprint down to the 7-11 that was a few houses down and scarf down one of their belly bomb burgers, and rush back.
The event finally is getting to the point so to speak, and my parents come into town from Esterhazy, and my mom has brought me a WONDERFUL corned beef sandwich, hot mustard, red onion, cheddar cheese, on rye. Oh my, I just about fell over in ecstasy right there. I take one bite, one delicious, savoury bite, chewing slowly oh so slowly, enjoying every last little flavour that is bursting in my mouth, to be yanked away by the pained moans of my then wife. I put down the sandwich, swallow, rush over, and take her hand while taking the cloth I had to wipe her forehead, to be shoved away abruptly with this shout: ‘Oh you stink like onions! If you don’t get rid of that I swear I’ll puke then kill you!’
So there I am scrambling down to the gift shop in the hospital, hoping A) my baby isn’t born in the time I’m gone, and B) that I can find a toothbrush and toothpaste so my loooovely partner doesn’t kill me.
My dad ate my sandwich.
Did you notice the one thread that ties them all together? It’s surprise, or offense. Humor is universally based on these seven traits, which could best be described as things that will either make you cry or laugh, and it is the individual response that dictates which it will be.
The article stresses this. Here is a direct quote from Sultanoff: While one’s “sense of humor” is highly idiosyncratic and individualized, it is based on one’s awareness and perception of a stimulus that is presented in the context of one or more of the universal traits. The universal qualities of the stimulus-receiver interaction increase the probability of a specific event being perceived as humorous.
Once a stimulus is perceived as humorous, it will trigger a reaction within the individual. This reaction may be physiological (laughter), cognitive (wit), or emotional (mirth), or a combination of these experiences. Therefore, the total sensation of a humorous event is a complex interaction of a stimulus, an individual’s perception, and the resulting reaction.
We are shaped by the experiences around us. My own humor could best be described as somewhat twisted. Let me demonstrate: By the way, if body hair offends you, cover your ears. What is the last noise a pubic hair makes before it hits the ground? Pbbt. Yeah, somewhat funny, funnier part though? My mom told me that joke! The humor of my family generally follows this pattern, and has shaped my own view of what will in the end offend me, which isn’t much.
As individuals are shaped by their experiences, those experiences are shaped by their culture. This shows particularily well in the idea of humor within First Nations, as compared to European culture. Crudely put, white folks don’t know how to laugh at themselves that well. There are reports from men in Cartier’s first journeys who are absolutely startled that the Indians can all make fun and laugh at their Chiefs. This flows through to modern times with articles from Drew Hayden Taylor who make a mock of the residential school pay outs, wondering when the victims of the Battle of Little Big Horn are going to sue the Sioux for their losses those many years ago. Or the article I’ve handed to you, you can read later.
Certain cultures seem to build within themselves a higher capacity for humor, and place its value somewhere in their spectrum of importance. For Europeans, how many times do we say ‘Stop being silly’ or ‘This isn’t a time to joke around!’ Well, it would appear for other cultures they would consider those the exact times to joke around and be silly.
Examples of that, are stories passed down in families that describe an elder going to town dressed in long underwear, and because of that misunderstanding, he got free groceries and a ride home from the Indian Agent when he was tired. Or my own family’s story of the first outhouse they had placed on the reserve.
For a broader example I would suggest you all look to find some sweat lodge stories. While these ceremonies are highly ritualistic and on the prairies were a form of healing and cleansing, larger sweats, for groups of men or women were done with a more communal idea in mind and the stories they used in these situations were all dealing with that most taboo of subjects: sex. All of them are absolutely hilarious, and treat the subject with a very easy and comfortable manner.
It’s hard not to look at these differences and not be able to see that in European culture, humor is seen as a lower form of communication, and in First Nations, it is a primary way to deal with those events of life that aren’t always the easiest. Personally I agree, I’d rather laugh than cry, I’d rather be amused and see the joy of a situation rather than the dour attitude that most ‘serious’ things entail. How about all of you?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
RIP Rufus
The fire is low tonight, I'm not feeling up to warmth or light. I need some somber atmosphere because it hasn't been a pleasant night. I still want you to come sit down though, I need the company. It may seem small at first, but perhaps we can all understand these things a bit more.
Our hamster died tonight. His name was Rufus and he was an incredible little beastie. One of the few I've ever known to come when called, to escape but not to leave but to be close to the person who he connected with the most, that being my eldest daughter Little Bear. He was incredibly resourceful when it came to escape, and that same incredible nature had an effect on our cat Xuxa (That's pronounced SHOOshA), cuz even I saw that little critter sit next to the cat without a care in the world while the cat seemed just as happy to hang out with something she generally killed. He was so comfortable with our family that one morning Little Bear placed Rufus on my chest, and he looked around, sniffed, then curled up and went to sleep. Truly unique.
My poor Little Bear was hysterical and it's hard to see that as a dad. On the flip side of that I know there is no way I can keep the big bad world from intruding on the perceived safety of our home. It's like that old joke, Life: Nobody gets out of here Alive. As such I got to help Little Bear deal with some of her first close loss. It's a tough bit of reality and I'll help the Baby Bird understand it better tomorrow, but right now, right this instant, I'm gonna tell you all what I told Little Bear.
First, there was the disposal. I don't go in for the ceremony of funerals. Me personally, I'll be having my disease riddled body shipped off to the U of S to be hacked apart by folks who wanna learn how to cure people. So I let Little Bear carry the cage with corpse outside to the garbage to get it out of the house. She was still crying in great heaves and sobs, and the Baby Bird was hiccuping along in response to the cries of her big sister. Once Rufus was disposed of, I called a stop to the wailing and asked the girls to listen. This is what I said:
'The loss involved with death is a lot, and it hurts, but I don't feel that is what should be focused on. Instead celebrate the joy of what Rufus brought to your life. The special memories of how great a pet he was, and how because of your care for him he was more than just a little thing in a cage, he was your little guy, your baby. I understand the loss. Hurting isn't bad, but celebrate the life, don't bemoan your own loss.'
Little Bear seemed to take this in stride, and she coughed out a few last tears, and said to me 'I'll try.' And she burst into all the memories she had. She told story after story once we got back into the house, and it helped her regain her own composure and she calmed. There were still tears, don't mistake that, but she thought about how special that little critter was to her and held close to his memory.
I held her for a while, and we talked. She asked me if he'd be in Heaven. I'm an honest guy, so I had to explain the dogma. Most Christian sects don't equate souls to animals. I then explained my own view, that we each receive what we deserve, our own Happy Hunting Ground. For Rufus, I see a big house, with rooms filled with Little Bear and her love and food. No cages, just lots of room for him to explore yet always come back to the thing he was most comfortable with, the crook of Little Bear's arm, or huddled beneath her knee with a piece of apple.
I then explained how I saw immortality. We as living things will all die. Our shells will waste away, all those things we bought, those things we made of stuff, all that will turn to dust and wash away into the stream of time. But those who loved us, and who we love, then will remember us. And in that, we will be immortal.
She then said 'You've dealt with a lot of loss huh dad?' I had to nod, and I thought back to all the people who I've loved yet lost. My father committed suicide when I was just 6. From there I've watched family members succumb to many things, mostly cancer. An Aunt passed while I was a teen, her daughter, my cousin just recently. All these people shaped me, and I carry them with me, I talk to them and let them know I still will love them despite their lack of a physical presence. My grandfather whom I've introduced to you all. These things hurt and ache yet I cherish them and the parts of me that will always wish for them to see the things I still see.
I couldn't really respond to her on this, I just held her. I gave my Little Bear what little comfort I could from my own actions, and I just loved her. Then we played Rock Band.
I write these things through crying eyes, knowing my daughter has lost yet another piece of the innocence of youth. I cry for the loss that we will all suffer, and I know each of you out there will feel the same things, yet I won't tell you how to think or feel. We will all feel it and it's a universal experience. All I can do is assure you that those I love, I will always continue to love, and those that love me, I can only hope for the same.
I also cry because I'm gonna miss that little guy, he may have only been a bit of fluff and maybe he peed on me a few times, but he was special to my daughters and special to me. Bye Rufus, enjoy the apples.
Our hamster died tonight. His name was Rufus and he was an incredible little beastie. One of the few I've ever known to come when called, to escape but not to leave but to be close to the person who he connected with the most, that being my eldest daughter Little Bear. He was incredibly resourceful when it came to escape, and that same incredible nature had an effect on our cat Xuxa (That's pronounced SHOOshA), cuz even I saw that little critter sit next to the cat without a care in the world while the cat seemed just as happy to hang out with something she generally killed. He was so comfortable with our family that one morning Little Bear placed Rufus on my chest, and he looked around, sniffed, then curled up and went to sleep. Truly unique.
My poor Little Bear was hysterical and it's hard to see that as a dad. On the flip side of that I know there is no way I can keep the big bad world from intruding on the perceived safety of our home. It's like that old joke, Life: Nobody gets out of here Alive. As such I got to help Little Bear deal with some of her first close loss. It's a tough bit of reality and I'll help the Baby Bird understand it better tomorrow, but right now, right this instant, I'm gonna tell you all what I told Little Bear.
First, there was the disposal. I don't go in for the ceremony of funerals. Me personally, I'll be having my disease riddled body shipped off to the U of S to be hacked apart by folks who wanna learn how to cure people. So I let Little Bear carry the cage with corpse outside to the garbage to get it out of the house. She was still crying in great heaves and sobs, and the Baby Bird was hiccuping along in response to the cries of her big sister. Once Rufus was disposed of, I called a stop to the wailing and asked the girls to listen. This is what I said:
'The loss involved with death is a lot, and it hurts, but I don't feel that is what should be focused on. Instead celebrate the joy of what Rufus brought to your life. The special memories of how great a pet he was, and how because of your care for him he was more than just a little thing in a cage, he was your little guy, your baby. I understand the loss. Hurting isn't bad, but celebrate the life, don't bemoan your own loss.'
Little Bear seemed to take this in stride, and she coughed out a few last tears, and said to me 'I'll try.' And she burst into all the memories she had. She told story after story once we got back into the house, and it helped her regain her own composure and she calmed. There were still tears, don't mistake that, but she thought about how special that little critter was to her and held close to his memory.
I held her for a while, and we talked. She asked me if he'd be in Heaven. I'm an honest guy, so I had to explain the dogma. Most Christian sects don't equate souls to animals. I then explained my own view, that we each receive what we deserve, our own Happy Hunting Ground. For Rufus, I see a big house, with rooms filled with Little Bear and her love and food. No cages, just lots of room for him to explore yet always come back to the thing he was most comfortable with, the crook of Little Bear's arm, or huddled beneath her knee with a piece of apple.
I then explained how I saw immortality. We as living things will all die. Our shells will waste away, all those things we bought, those things we made of stuff, all that will turn to dust and wash away into the stream of time. But those who loved us, and who we love, then will remember us. And in that, we will be immortal.
She then said 'You've dealt with a lot of loss huh dad?' I had to nod, and I thought back to all the people who I've loved yet lost. My father committed suicide when I was just 6. From there I've watched family members succumb to many things, mostly cancer. An Aunt passed while I was a teen, her daughter, my cousin just recently. All these people shaped me, and I carry them with me, I talk to them and let them know I still will love them despite their lack of a physical presence. My grandfather whom I've introduced to you all. These things hurt and ache yet I cherish them and the parts of me that will always wish for them to see the things I still see.
I couldn't really respond to her on this, I just held her. I gave my Little Bear what little comfort I could from my own actions, and I just loved her. Then we played Rock Band.
I write these things through crying eyes, knowing my daughter has lost yet another piece of the innocence of youth. I cry for the loss that we will all suffer, and I know each of you out there will feel the same things, yet I won't tell you how to think or feel. We will all feel it and it's a universal experience. All I can do is assure you that those I love, I will always continue to love, and those that love me, I can only hope for the same.
I also cry because I'm gonna miss that little guy, he may have only been a bit of fluff and maybe he peed on me a few times, but he was special to my daughters and special to me. Bye Rufus, enjoy the apples.
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