Sorry you haven't been invited by the fire for a bit. And I do apologize for how fierce the shadows have been. There is no food either to share today for I brought none, not thinking that anyone else might appreciate a bite. I wasn't feeling hungry. No go ahead, sit. I know my hospitality isn't what it should be but you're still always welcome.
I have not felt myself as of late. Dark rumblings in my mind and soul have taken the place of more gentle and peacable thoughts. I have been distant and short in turns with those around me. I am very much a being of unease.
I very much get the impression that I am tolerated but not welcome from those that I wish to be around. Even when I do those things to attempt to please or appease others it seems to blow up in my face. And this isn't even getting into the mess that's been made of my banking. I'm not even going to get into that.
I feel strangely disconnected from the events around me, in fact even as I write I'm not entirely sure it's something that even matters. There is a thin mist that seems to be clouding over my senses, and it's leaving everything dull. Dark is fine, but dull... I don't know.
I suppose there is many words, a lot of things that could be said, in regard to how I feel. But it goes beyond just what I feel, it's what I see, it's the filter through which the world is coming into me. And I feel no real urge to place it back before others. That in itself is strange as I love to reanalyze and rethink those things I read and see.
I read this back and it feels so much like a complaint but it's not. It is really just a status update. If I appear short or removed, I apologize. If I don't respond, it is not you, it is me, and don't take it personally.
But I do love the company. So thanks.
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