How to properly judge an ass

Come on in, time for another funny story. The fire is bright and the weather is fine. Oh yeah and there's some BPT sammiches available. That's bacon pickle and tomato. Quite tasty.

So there I am working one day at the old call center and these two very nice looking females on my team had a disagreement. Said disagreement was on who's butt was nicer. And seeing as how I was established as the best one to determine which ass was nicer, both asked me to judge said butts.

Now seeing as I take the female form, and it's appreciation of it, very seriously I told the girls that any judging of asses would require a complete and thorough testing of their various aspects. This would require much touching, grabbing, slapping, pinching, and fondling. And that I would not be rushed to a decision.

Suffice it to say I spent most of my shift while not on the phone having a wonderful eight hours of playing with two different asses. And we all went out after the shift to a local bar to sing and have fun and spent a few more hours studying, comparing, and testing said asses.

Once I had compiled all my information, I said it was impossible to say either was better. Girl one had a firm little butt, nice to slap and rub, and looked fantastic in a pair of jeans. Girl two had a full soft butt that was so nice to dig your fingers into and looked so good in a skirt with her longer legs. It would be unfair to either girl to say one was better than the other, instead each were equally fantastic and deserved to be played with on a daily basis.

Two things are incredibly funny about this. First off, these things happen to me on a fairly regular basis. And that they happen with such regularity and yet cause me no ill effects makes me very happy. Two, is that the call center had one of the most anal group of people when it came to the whole sexual harassment issues. Despite the fact that I did these things in plain view, even explaining it to my supervisor, I never ONCE got brought up on a complaint, even one brought by someone who was offended on the 'victims' behalf.

So ... maybe not funny. But life is good.