A nightmare

Come in, I stoked the fire since the weather has turned on us again, and I have Old Dutch Mexican Chili Chips! Dig in.

I don't normally have nightmares. When I was much younger I used to have nightmares continuously but since my teens and my own control of my lucid dreams I don't normally have them. Last one was about ... 6 or more years ago, involving an ex's head turning into a Shark, and running from them in a car. It was quite the event.

Well a few nights ago I had a nightmare. The worst. Nothing scares me personally. I know there is nothing out there that can get thrown at me that I can't handle or deal with on some level, especially with the fantastic family and friends I have.

In the dream I woke up for work and went to wake up the Little Bear, as she had asked me to, and instead of finding my beautiful daughter I found a severed hand and a note. I picked up the hand, tears gushed into my eyes, and I clutched it. I didn't even bother reading the note yet. Instead I went straight to the phone, dialed 911, and hysterically started ranting at them as I started to collect together all the sharp pointy things I have, large blunt things I have, and anything that I might be able to use for a ranged weapon, including the paintball gun and a big bag of marbles.

At this point my 'overmind' started to kick in. I knew this was a dream, tiny details were wrong, like Little Bear's bed, which is now a wonderful loft bed, was too low. So I started pulling myself awake, knowing that I was getting so worked up, my heart rate was probably in the stratosphere, and I knew that muscles were tensing. I finally wrenched myself out of sleep, and when I woke up, I was lying flat on my back, my limbs were hovering off the bed, and I was covered in a thin sheet of sweat and tears. And yeah I could feel my heart thundering in my chest, and had all the signs of a MASSIVE adrenaline dump. I slowly relaxed, stood up, and went to check on the Bear. Once I confirmed my baby was fine, I went back to bed. I laid there for probably about an hour and a half, vibrating, shaking, going thru the adrenal side effects, massive headache. Boom I was just about the closest I've been to a full on blank out as I've ever been sober.

I finally got back to sleep. Kinda. I never went deep for the rest of the night. I kept waking myself, and every sound or creak had me up again.

Was ... intense.