Really? Really.

Come on, got some 'pasgetti and if you're not in for a meal, some sour cream and onion chips.  The fire is high and well. The clue by four is out.  And I think we need to talk about some things.  Mainly just me and the guys, but you ladies, I have a couple things to say to you too, mainly about self-preservation.  But that's for the end.

Ok first, go read this crap.  Really? 

Firstly, to Judge Dewar.  I'm gonna lay this scenario out for you.  What say I come by your house with the clue by four.  See cuz let's say the victim is my sister, and you've angered me.  You're going to get a beating.  Not just a beating.  I'm going to take this clue by four and I'm going to shove it straight up your ass, no lube, and we're using the splinter end.  And everytime you shout 'NO!  Stop sodomizing me with that big chunk of splintery wood,' I'm going to remind you that you asked for it by shitting all over the victim.  And since you asked for it by making such ridiculous and sexist statements, I get to keep doing it.  And I'm going to do it until even surgery won't fix your asshole, so you get to walk around for the rest of your life with a colostomy bag, emptying your shit into a toilet in the most humiliating fashion because Judge Dewar, that's what you've done to that woman.  You.  *JAM* Did. *THRUST* That. *JAB*  Got it you stupid fuck?  If I could get ten minutes alone with you, with my clue by four I don't think you'd ever make that mistake again.  GOD!  I'm so enraged just thinking about it. 

Now guys.  C'mere.  Let's have a little confab, just us guys.  Ladies, you can listen in but realize I'm going to use the guy talk shit ok.  So here goes.  Guys, we've all had a cock tease situation.  We've all been in a sitaution where some hot to trot bitch gets her junk all up in our face, and shakes it like a dirty girl.  This DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU!!  *SMASH*  Sadly one of the few avenues of power we've given women is their sexuality.  Of course, we punish them when they use it, but we also admire them and encourage them to do it.  But only if they fulfill our sexual object fantasies.  And this has got to change.  It has to stop.  Sexuality does not equal sex.  Let me repeat that.  Sexuality *BASH* does *SLAM* not *CRUNCH* equal *THUD* sex.  Are we clear?  Cuz here's the thing guys.  Y'know what has happened?  It's a part of this whole goal orientated society we've got.  You're confusing that little squirt at the end with the whole process.  Got it?  Stop.  *SMASH*  Just stop.  No more.  And if it really frustrates you so much when you get cock teased, well, guess what mano, you got a fucking hand, use it.  If you really need to objectify her, do it in your mind, but leave her alone.  She is someone's daughter.  Got it?  Next time you start to lose control of your dick, think of that.  She's someone's daughter.  And fucking STOP!  *CLUB*

*puts away the clue by four*  You shitheads are dismissed.  Now ladies.  Let's sit down for a sec, and just talk about self-preservation.

Just to start with, this is not your fault.  However, it is within your power to limit your own exposure to dangerous situations.  And no this is not me saying women shouldn't explore their sexuality, even if it is in a public manner.  I'm talking about understanding the boundaries and what you can do to change it.  Or in simple terms, self-defense.  Keep these things in mind.  The instant that the man stops heeding your 'no,' he is technically violating you.  It is now assault.  And you get to do what you need to to stop the assault.  Learn the various weaknesses in the human body so you can cause maximum damage with minimal effort.  My eldest daughter knows, and is comfortable with using, about a hundred different ways to hurt someone in a lot of different positions.  Learn them.  Hell I'll give fucking lessons if you want.  And I'm not teaching martial arts, I'm teaching how to hurt a human being.  That's it, and sometimes, you need to do it.

And thanks to the fantastical Holly, she of the breathtaking art (If you ever want to sell that three birds of wisdom painting, I'll sell a child or two for it) and the badger like qualities, we provide this video to further demonstrate the fucking point. 

Oh yeah...

Come on in, and grab some chicken burgers.  Tasty.

So I fell off that wagon.  *lights up*

I think it was the insomnia that was killing me the most.  I didn't know when to go to bed because I didn't have my bedtime smoke.  Like I said habit forming.

BTW, not an excuse, I failed.  But I'm sure I'll try again.  Maybe when sleep isn't as rare and important as it is right now.

This is my boomstick

Alrighty folks, come on in and grab a seat by the fire.  But be ready to duck.

So a long time ago I used to play on MUSHes.  And while I was an admin on the ShadowRunMUSH, I took the admin name Clue, because I used to make posts on the forums using my clue by four to fix glaring issues I saw in the game, be it from players or rules, or whatever.  And I think I need to bring by the clue by four.  Think of it as the metaphorical clubbing we all occasionally need.  It won't be nice, it won't be pretty, in fact it probably will be uncomfortable and require medical attention but it will be educational.

So here's the thing.  I'm drivin' to the bank and school to do some biz for the student association I'm a part of, and get this shit:  Some MP is entering a private members bill about the volume of TV commercials.  And I'm listening to this getting so pissed off I wanna drive my car into the nearest radio tower.  And I'm pissed on so many levels that it's bordering on the stupid.  So lets lay this out.

First off, CBC?  I love you.  But FUCKING HELL! *BAM*  This is not fucking news.  IT IS NOT NEWS!  Get me?!  NOT! *BASH* FUCKING! *SMACK* NEWS! *SLAM*  There is about a million more things more important, like, oh, I don't know, the FSIN assembly?  The continued revolutions in the Middle East, so on and so forth, not that some fucking lazy shits hate it that they have to turn down their TV during the commercials.  And it just annoys me when they discuss these kind of useless topics.  Wait, what, did one of you just say 'But it's not useless.'  Oh ... let me explain my little clueless flock.  Come closer.  The more I chase the more I bash.

It is a useless topic because A) it shows an inherent weakness within our society that we believe everything that bothers us must be legislated, and B) that they are targeting the TV stations, which is a complete waste of time because it doesn't start with the fucking TV stations.  So let's break this down.

Hey.  Society.  Why not stop trying to legislate change and ENACT THE FUCKING CHANGE!! *SMASH*  It's like we're a bunch of newborns who can't find the nipple, so we whine and pucker about waiting for the great mother country to stick a teat in our mouth so we can suck ourselves back into docility.  Don't like the state of things?  find others like you, which geez, in our age should be stupidly easy, get together and write some emails, make an effbook group, phone the TV stations and advertisers.  WHATEVER!  Just DO something.  Quit expecting others to do it for you, or thinking that a law about it will somehow fix the problem, it just creates new excuses and really our government probably should have more important things to do than worry about how often you have to take your fat hand out of the bowl of snacks to grab the remote, thus stopping your inevitable evolution into an actual lump attached to a couch like those poor fuckers in Wall-E.  So.  Here's the deal.  I haven't hit you folks who think this type of thing is good a lot because I'm going to make a deal.  You get off your lazy do nothing ass and enact some change, and I won't beat you like a 12 year old boy beats his wang.  But ... if we continue on this path I will make sure I buy a whole fucking forest of clue by fours and each one of you gets to take one home.  After I shove it up your ass.  Sideways.  Fuckers.

Secondly, from what I've read on the very making of commercials, for some they amp up all the sound and contrast and brightness to make it as attention grabbing as possible.  Kind of like cranking the bass and treble up on your stereo, or turning the brightness up on a video game, to make it louder or easier to see.  So, while PERHAPS the TV stations might be able to turn that stuff around, I'm guessing that might make the folks who are paying them to put their adverts out a little put out.  Besides, we all participate in this wonderful 'Gimmie stuff!' culture, you want something other than adverts that have more technical know-how and special effects in them than the shows you want to watch then well.  *BASH* read the previous paragraph and get off your ass and do something about it.  Stop buying those products, contact those advertisers and their agency, VOICE YOUR SELF YOU SELF-ABSORBED SACK OF AMBIVALENCE! 

So to sum up.  Stop expecting everyone else to do something about it.  *SMASH*  Get up and do it yourself!

Why do we still do this shit?

Come on in, seems we have a theme today.  European vs. First Nation culture.  If it is starting to sound a bit anti-European, well.  It is.  Sorry.  Doesn't change the facts.

Ok, anyone else following this?  There's a whole lot going on, so I thought I might expound on what I think of it.  So let me ramble.

At the root of this is the perceived conflict of interest between Chief Lonechild's criminal charge and his position on accountability and reform.  So let us all go over the sides here, the arguments for and against.  Now the folks arguing for his stepping down are saying that because of this perceived conflict, and the chance of his stances being weakened, Lonechild needs to step down.  Behind the scenes are such things as a rejection of more funds for the Senate which Lonechild is seen as responsible for, and Lonechild's reform measures which pushes out the old guard of corrupt officials who lined their own pockets.  But those background arguments should be kept at arms length as speculative and inflammatory.  On the flip side of this is the argument that Lonechild is not the first person to make this same mistake and the other were not required to step down.  I mean hell, the former Premier of Alberta made drunk driving his usual form of leaving the Parliamentary buildings. 

Now me, I'm watching everything that's going on and I have a much more fundamental question:  Why the fuck are we using European institutions and philosophies to exercise our right to self-determination as a Nation?  Seriously.  Why?  Sure, at one point it was the only way for our rights to be recognized but I think we've moved beyond that and perhaps it is time we started to take a serious look at the way in which we govern and find new ways to apply the old traditions. 

Because here is what I think of Lonechild's charges, and subsequent admission to an addiction to alcohol.  First off, he has admitted it.  Sure it required an outside influence to force the admission and ownership of the problem but guess what folks?  That was the traditional way it was done.  The medicine wo/man would go to the afflicted and facilitate a public admission of the wrong doing and start to build a means through which to correct the issue.  Which he is doing.  We do not attack someone who has a problem.  We fix it.  Ousting Lonechild will not fix the issue.  It will merely continue the abuses we've learned.  These are the original ways and they still work. 

FUCK!  How can people not see something so simple?

Right then

Come on in, grab an apple.  Tasty.  The fire is nice, but the snow and wind are not so much.  I'm actually craving some warm weather, which is really weird for me.

So here's the thing.  Us white folks are fucking idiots.  Like ... how did we get control of so much of the world when we're barely above open mouth breathing retards?  Seriously.  A whole race of fucking morons just milling about and wrecking stuff.

See, I'm taking a class on ethics in literature, and a class on utopian literature, and y'know what?  Philosophies, societal models, and world views that First Nations came up with more than ten millenia ago are what keep popping up.  I have to look at these things and go 'Ok, what the fuck?' 

Lemme give you two examples.  William Morris' News From Nowhere.  Were it not for some differences, that make the society unlivable, is a description of First Nations life.  The 'European' additions, or edits, from the lifestyle and world view is essentially what critiques attack his utopia for, and they were solved by FN culture thousands of years ago!  Leave it to a Pre-Raphaelite to screw up a pretty well done idea.  (Rambling digression: The only one I liked was the younger sister, whasername.  The Rossetti chick.  She was a dirty girl.  Anyways, sorry for the digression.)

Secondly.  The big Ethics folks on the literary scene in our modern era are all so concerned with being right, that the whole lot of them can't see that they're all right.  Relocate the arguments into a rough circle and understand the interflow of the ideas and they describe Bimaadziwin ethics.  IF you're willing to say everyone is right too and integrate the various theories AND stop trying to divorce ethics from a very personal stance.  From personal interpretation.  But hey, what would a group of people who spent their entire winters thinking and developing these things know?  They only spent, oh say a couple thousand years do it or so, and then another 10000 years refining it. 

And yes there is a lot of similarities to Greek philosophy but again, this desire to compartmentalize and claim 'This is right, this is the truth' rather than a more holistic acceptance causes some serious fucking issues.  It's that simple.

So one of the other classes I'm taking is a class on Inequality in Canada.  And Little Bird's mom and I are in the class.  So we're discussing the class and stuff and in particular the heinous abomination that is Bill C-31 and how it affected the passing on of status, and the assumptions within the act.  And she goes 'Well crap, we've got it all wrong, why don't we all try to become Indians?!'  And that really is the crux.  White folks, join me.  Give up the whiteness.  Come on over and join the Indians, we'll all get status, we'll all get free schooling, no taxes, and all the other perceived 'benefits' of status that are not actually there and we can all stop fighting about it.  Whaddya say?  See, that's embracing assimilation, just the other way around!

Fifteen years ago today

Come on in and help me mark this special day.  There is meager supplies but there is plenty of love and happiness. 

So I'm pretty sure I've recounted the story of the Little Bear's birth, in numerous places.  And I'm pretty sure you folks know at this point that being a dad to my two little critters is the ultimate for me.  Little else matters.  So instead this here is a post to recognize who she is now, and what she might be.

First off, she's so cute it's almost cartoonish.  She is one beautiful girl.  And I know, someone is going to point out that 'Oh look, it's a girl so the first thing he does is go to how she looks.'  Yar, I get it.  Sexist.  If you dismiss that I'm doing this in a layered kind of way.  So we start first impression on.  Ok?  Good.  Divergent Rant Mode Off.

So she's gorgeous.  Big bright eyes, cupid bow mouth, button nose.  Built a lot like her dad, so she's not tiny, she's got a firm structure.  Thick full hair.  And her laugh is so awesome.

That laugh is what tells you a bit about her.  She's one happy girl, outgoing, personable, charming.  And not that glad handing, 'I'm nice to everybody so they'll do stuff for me' bullshit way.  She loves everyone.  She will never be able to understand why we can't all get along.  And while others will see this as a weakness or fault, and some will even take advantage of it, I see it as her greatest strength.  She will love until she bleeds, and even then she may not stop.  She won't give up on anyone.  She will, until the day she dies, care for every single person she's ever met in her life, even the ones she doesn't like she wants the best for.  She sees the faults, she sees the problems, but doesn't understand why people wouldn't want to get past them, resolve or acknowledge them and make things better together.  It's not some rose coloured glasses, 'The world is beautiful' thing, it is a genuine ability to love that gives her the skills to reasonably assess any situation, understand it, and still find a way to let her love be the force through which she will work.

But then again, that's not surprising to me, she's a little bear.  Bears are healers.  And she will heal people.  Not as a medical professional, I don't think she has any interest in that.  I've always imagined that somewhere in that hormone muddied head she has realized the body heals most wounds.  Souls, not always.

And that is what she will heal through her gift of songs.  I mean, damn.  I'm her dad I'm allowed hyperbole about her singing.  But when you go to her recitals, and even the little kids are staring in rapture as she sings, that's just hard fact.  She has the voice of love and health.  It brings tears to my eyes when she sings because she gives herself over to them, lets the music be what it must, herself what she is, and blends the two, creating a powerful mix. 

And that mind, that base synthesis she has already learned that has taken me decades to understand, a molding of mind and emotion to let both have equal say in her actions and decisions blows my mind.  I still struggle with it, but for her, both have to be present before she can make a decision, and it shows in those decisions. 

And this is just a snap shot folks.  This is far from the whole package, but it is what has struck me as of late as she grows, as she becomes the woman she wishes to be.  Another year of memories sits before me to collect, and I watch with some fear and trepidation, and a whole lot of amazement and love.

Happy Birthday Little Bear!

What the f**k?

Come on in, this is another one of those observational rants here in the Den.  Cop a squat and lend an ear.

Ok so ... It's the middle of February, and it's Saskatchewan, so y'know the opportunities for tanning are just a wee bit scarce.  So unless half the university went to fucking Mexico this weekend, what's the deal with all the tans?

And I know, fake'n'bake.  And I'd lay money that's what most of these are.  And while I'm usually all fine with any way you want to get cancer, speaking as a former smoker, I'd like to point out that fake tans look just as the name indicates.  Fake.  You all look ridiculous!  I mean I'm used to living here, and the pasty whiteness that dominates the winter months.  And the dominance of the fake tan is starting to grate on my nerves.  Don't get me wrong, I love that bronze look on people when it's natural.  But when you look like a human sized hollow chocolate Easter treat, it's time to back away from the fucking bed and just let nature do its thang. 

I mean seriously this one girl today, I was watching her in shocked amazement, because she was about 50 years and a thousand wrinkles away from looking like George Hamilton.  Which if she keeps up the fake tanning should be there in about 2 freakin' years. 

So people.  Please.  It doesn't look right.  Sure it grabs attention.  But it's not 'Wow that girl is hot,' it's 'wow that chick is gonna be one big fucking bundle of skin cancer in a couple years!'

Some observations before I get back to work

Talk about a snap change hmm?  Plus 2, beautiful no wind, everything melting, hell it even rained.  This morning, -15, hard, harsh wind, and no fit for man or beast.  Good thing we stocked up on the firewood hmm?

I'm not the bad guy.  Sure, I get pissed off but I'm not the bad guy.  I'm the guy.  That's it.  I'm also the guy that goes out of his way to try to avoid getting pissed off.  But even I have my limits.  Poke me with a stick enough times and I'm going to get mad.  The surprising part is, I can tell you repeatedly, 'This one thing, this utterly tiny thing for you, really pisses me off.  Stop doing it?' And you'll agree to, and the first chance you get, BOOM!!  You do it.  Wow.  Y'know what.  I'm not the bad guy. 

When did we forget how to flirt and what flirting means?  Seriously.  I'm a flirt.  This does not mean I'm looking to fuck every woman I'm friendly with.  Nor does it even mean I'm interested in any specific woman.  Hell right now folks, I'm pretty much determined to avoid anything like that.  Won't end well for anyone. 

Genius does not exist.  Hard/smart work does.  Nuff said.

My girls are genuinely impressive.  I find it mind boggling that I had anything to do with the creation of such intense potential.  This is certainly a skewed view because they are my children, but it is still a wonderfully humbling feeling to realize I have the responsibility to ensure that potential is not wasted, and to do it with no thanks.  I think this is the part most parents get hung up on. 

I'm still NOT the bad guy.  Heh.  Fuck you.

I really like coaching.  Running into my kids later on in different situations is fantastically awesome.  The part that always amazes me is that slightly awed look you get from them sometime like 'Holy shit ... coach exists outside of the football field...'  Like I'm some cyborg kept in cold storage in the off season, my one goal to create fantastic football players.  :)

I need a lackey.  Actually a whole team of them.  Anyone know if those minions from 'Despicable Me' are available?  Obedient little yellow mutants seems just perfect.

One hour of intense physical activity a week is a 'bad thing' (TM).  It hurts.  It's been three days and oh GOD how it hurts.

Belfort got kicked in the face because Jesus didn't like being close to his crotch. 

You can create entire UFC broadcasts out of these words:  bucket, beast, tenacious.  Just repeat in different combinations until the audience is left in a stupor of stupidity.