Come on in, this is another one of those observational rants here in the Den. Cop a squat and lend an ear.
Ok so ... It's the middle of February, and it's Saskatchewan, so y'know the opportunities for tanning are just a wee bit scarce. So unless half the university went to fucking Mexico this weekend, what's the deal with all the tans?
And I know, fake'n'bake. And I'd lay money that's what most of these are. And while I'm usually all fine with any way you want to get cancer, speaking as a former smoker, I'd like to point out that fake tans look just as the name indicates. Fake. You all look ridiculous! I mean I'm used to living here, and the pasty whiteness that dominates the winter months. And the dominance of the fake tan is starting to grate on my nerves. Don't get me wrong, I love that bronze look on people when it's natural. But when you look like a human sized hollow chocolate Easter treat, it's time to back away from the fucking bed and just let nature do its thang.
I mean seriously this one girl today, I was watching her in shocked amazement, because she was about 50 years and a thousand wrinkles away from looking like George Hamilton. Which if she keeps up the fake tanning should be there in about 2 freakin' years.
So people. Please. It doesn't look right. Sure it grabs attention. But it's not 'Wow that girl is hot,' it's 'wow that chick is gonna be one big fucking bundle of skin cancer in a couple years!'
2 comments:
I think you can thank the wretched pile of festering puss that is Jersey Shore for bringing back fake tanning. It seems like almost every reality show is peopled with orange coloured idiots.
Love your rants, btw. Also...so happy that you are still not smoking! <3
As I try not to reject things out of hand without at least trying them, I watched a mini-marathon of Jersey Shore. And it made me want to get a gun, go find these fucking retards, and put bullets in their crotches. I don't want to kill them. I want to make sure they don't reproduce, and turn them into abject lessons on how not to act. I want to maim them and turn them into mewling, pain filled wretches for their complete lack of humanity. I want their outside to match their inside, to be disgusting, shallow, useless things that should be pitied and mocked.
Fucking Jersey Shore. I want them to suffer for all I had to suffer just watching a few hours of that useless waste of film.
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