This is my boomstick

Alrighty folks, come on in and grab a seat by the fire.  But be ready to duck.

So a long time ago I used to play on MUSHes.  And while I was an admin on the ShadowRunMUSH, I took the admin name Clue, because I used to make posts on the forums using my clue by four to fix glaring issues I saw in the game, be it from players or rules, or whatever.  And I think I need to bring by the clue by four.  Think of it as the metaphorical clubbing we all occasionally need.  It won't be nice, it won't be pretty, in fact it probably will be uncomfortable and require medical attention but it will be educational.

So here's the thing.  I'm drivin' to the bank and school to do some biz for the student association I'm a part of, and get this shit:  Some MP is entering a private members bill about the volume of TV commercials.  And I'm listening to this getting so pissed off I wanna drive my car into the nearest radio tower.  And I'm pissed on so many levels that it's bordering on the stupid.  So lets lay this out.

First off, CBC?  I love you.  But FUCKING HELL! *BAM*  This is not fucking news.  IT IS NOT NEWS!  Get me?!  NOT! *BASH* FUCKING! *SMACK* NEWS! *SLAM*  There is about a million more things more important, like, oh, I don't know, the FSIN assembly?  The continued revolutions in the Middle East, so on and so forth, not that some fucking lazy shits hate it that they have to turn down their TV during the commercials.  And it just annoys me when they discuss these kind of useless topics.  Wait, what, did one of you just say 'But it's not useless.'  Oh ... let me explain my little clueless flock.  Come closer.  The more I chase the more I bash.

It is a useless topic because A) it shows an inherent weakness within our society that we believe everything that bothers us must be legislated, and B) that they are targeting the TV stations, which is a complete waste of time because it doesn't start with the fucking TV stations.  So let's break this down.

Hey.  Society.  Why not stop trying to legislate change and ENACT THE FUCKING CHANGE!! *SMASH*  It's like we're a bunch of newborns who can't find the nipple, so we whine and pucker about waiting for the great mother country to stick a teat in our mouth so we can suck ourselves back into docility.  Don't like the state of things?  find others like you, which geez, in our age should be stupidly easy, get together and write some emails, make an effbook group, phone the TV stations and advertisers.  WHATEVER!  Just DO something.  Quit expecting others to do it for you, or thinking that a law about it will somehow fix the problem, it just creates new excuses and really our government probably should have more important things to do than worry about how often you have to take your fat hand out of the bowl of snacks to grab the remote, thus stopping your inevitable evolution into an actual lump attached to a couch like those poor fuckers in Wall-E.  So.  Here's the deal.  I haven't hit you folks who think this type of thing is good a lot because I'm going to make a deal.  You get off your lazy do nothing ass and enact some change, and I won't beat you like a 12 year old boy beats his wang.  But ... if we continue on this path I will make sure I buy a whole fucking forest of clue by fours and each one of you gets to take one home.  After I shove it up your ass.  Sideways.  Fuckers.

Secondly, from what I've read on the very making of commercials, for some they amp up all the sound and contrast and brightness to make it as attention grabbing as possible.  Kind of like cranking the bass and treble up on your stereo, or turning the brightness up on a video game, to make it louder or easier to see.  So, while PERHAPS the TV stations might be able to turn that stuff around, I'm guessing that might make the folks who are paying them to put their adverts out a little put out.  Besides, we all participate in this wonderful 'Gimmie stuff!' culture, you want something other than adverts that have more technical know-how and special effects in them than the shows you want to watch then well.  *BASH* read the previous paragraph and get off your ass and do something about it.  Stop buying those products, contact those advertisers and their agency, VOICE YOUR SELF YOU SELF-ABSORBED SACK OF AMBIVALENCE! 

So to sum up.  Stop expecting everyone else to do something about it.  *SMASH*  Get up and do it yourself!