Fifteen years ago today

Come on in and help me mark this special day.  There is meager supplies but there is plenty of love and happiness. 

So I'm pretty sure I've recounted the story of the Little Bear's birth, in numerous places.  And I'm pretty sure you folks know at this point that being a dad to my two little critters is the ultimate for me.  Little else matters.  So instead this here is a post to recognize who she is now, and what she might be.

First off, she's so cute it's almost cartoonish.  She is one beautiful girl.  And I know, someone is going to point out that 'Oh look, it's a girl so the first thing he does is go to how she looks.'  Yar, I get it.  Sexist.  If you dismiss that I'm doing this in a layered kind of way.  So we start first impression on.  Ok?  Good.  Divergent Rant Mode Off.

So she's gorgeous.  Big bright eyes, cupid bow mouth, button nose.  Built a lot like her dad, so she's not tiny, she's got a firm structure.  Thick full hair.  And her laugh is so awesome.

That laugh is what tells you a bit about her.  She's one happy girl, outgoing, personable, charming.  And not that glad handing, 'I'm nice to everybody so they'll do stuff for me' bullshit way.  She loves everyone.  She will never be able to understand why we can't all get along.  And while others will see this as a weakness or fault, and some will even take advantage of it, I see it as her greatest strength.  She will love until she bleeds, and even then she may not stop.  She won't give up on anyone.  She will, until the day she dies, care for every single person she's ever met in her life, even the ones she doesn't like she wants the best for.  She sees the faults, she sees the problems, but doesn't understand why people wouldn't want to get past them, resolve or acknowledge them and make things better together.  It's not some rose coloured glasses, 'The world is beautiful' thing, it is a genuine ability to love that gives her the skills to reasonably assess any situation, understand it, and still find a way to let her love be the force through which she will work.

But then again, that's not surprising to me, she's a little bear.  Bears are healers.  And she will heal people.  Not as a medical professional, I don't think she has any interest in that.  I've always imagined that somewhere in that hormone muddied head she has realized the body heals most wounds.  Souls, not always.

And that is what she will heal through her gift of songs.  I mean, damn.  I'm her dad I'm allowed hyperbole about her singing.  But when you go to her recitals, and even the little kids are staring in rapture as she sings, that's just hard fact.  She has the voice of love and health.  It brings tears to my eyes when she sings because she gives herself over to them, lets the music be what it must, herself what she is, and blends the two, creating a powerful mix. 

And that mind, that base synthesis she has already learned that has taken me decades to understand, a molding of mind and emotion to let both have equal say in her actions and decisions blows my mind.  I still struggle with it, but for her, both have to be present before she can make a decision, and it shows in those decisions. 

And this is just a snap shot folks.  This is far from the whole package, but it is what has struck me as of late as she grows, as she becomes the woman she wishes to be.  Another year of memories sits before me to collect, and I watch with some fear and trepidation, and a whole lot of amazement and love.

Happy Birthday Little Bear!