Bizarre

Come on in, enjoy the heat and steam. I've closed up the den a bit because I need to sweat out this cold.

And that of course is the irony of the situation. Yesterday I talk about how great my health has been lately and today my throat is aching, my nose is entirely stuffed up, and I'm exhausted. So I'm going to spend the day resting, sipping some liquids, and trying to get over this annoying cold.

So this sparked something I want to talk about in between a couple things my wonderful friends cenobyte and Viper Pilot have posted recently. And that is the extremes. The extremes of belief and religion and such.

Reading about ceno's experience with some teachers who balked at books on time travel, and of course the hilarious searching for signal, made me sad, and tired, like herself, because it really is a bizarre concept. The idea that ideas lead people away from God is rather bizarre. It's the restriction of ideas that lead people away from religion.

Example time. Buddy of mine I work with, great guy, and very intelligent. He, and his family are very committed Christians. Of course he loves dirty jokes, spends his days at work making y'mama jokes about me, and is a huge fan of tech blogs and questioning the very nature of the 'truth' through various podcasts and such. In fact, I think that's what makes him a very good Christian. Because he constantly questions. And that's the funny part. He describes himself as a former goody two-shoes who bought hook, line, and sinker into the 'party line' that ceno has described, as he went to Christian orientated schools, until he got into high school and realized that a lot of what he was taught in school about the world was a complete lie.

And then he revised that, he explained that a lot of the 'dangers' of the world, as he'd been told, were not dangers at all, merely parts of life where people could overindulge, or find issue, but that his faith, and his belief in the core values that he was taught were still just as valid as ever. He started his own path and found his faith and spirituality.

And that's really quite cool, because he got past the indoctrination, part of the reason both ceno and I agree that until someone is able to understand the decision they shouldn't be required to be a part of any particular religion, and found what his personal relationship with God would be. That's pretty neat.

So part of the problem that bothers me about that indoctrination is the 'us vs. them' attitude that is fostered in it. We're right and they're wrong, the vast over-generalizing that assigns people to specific beliefs when they should be considered in each situation individually. What, because D.C. Scott was a confederation poet, and the Indian Commissioner who wrote scads on the eventual assimilation and destruction of the First Nations people and culture, that I should say all Canadian poets are racists? Hell even Scott wasn't a racist, he was mere a product of ill conceived science and reason.

Which brings me to the logical fallacy that is used and then mocked in academia everywhere. The Hitler reduction. And while the Pope was wrong for using it, let's not let Mr. Dawkins off the hook either. He did the EXACT same thing! Really, it's quite like two kids, 'Hitler was your fault poopy head!' 'No he was YOUR fault, poopy head!' Really? And this pisses me off because I have read quite a bit of Dawkins stuff and I find his central argument popping up in a lot of places, and even in my friends' mouths. And it is an identical indoctrination and over generalization as religion does.

Somehow Dawkins thinks the only rational people are those that reject religion and spirituality all together. You can't be rational if you believe in any form of God. And how is that any different from the over generalization that if you don't believe in God you can't know right from wrong? Because as we all know science and reason have NEVER been the cause of anything bad. EVER. Like old social theories that created systemic racism. DDT, thalidomide, CFBs, atomic waste, strip mining, and a vast cornucopia of scientific 'advances' have brought us worlds of grief, therefore, reason and science are evil and anyone associated with them should be put to the cross.

And of course this will foster the cross argument of 'Well it was individuals...' Wait what? Stop. Individuals caused this issues? So why is that not good enough to understand the so-called 'Evils of Religion?' Ahhh right, that doesn't support your argument. How rational is that?

It comes down to the extremes. I understand that each side will go to whatever lengths they can to 'win the argument' and meanwhile, people will take these extreme points of view and run with them. When really, neither side is right or wrong, neither side is really all that valid. Both sides should be there to support the individuals who support their point of view, and reinforce community and understanding rather than a continued debate that doesn't even ATTEMPT to speak to one another, just shout over generalized insults and accusations.

My Health

Ooooh such beautiful weather. So good I turned on the A/C. Sad huh? I don't do well with too much heat. I prefer the cold. But the den is delightfully full of sunlight and a fresh breeze, so enjoy.

Speaking of my lack of enjoyment in heat, I thought I'd let you folks in on some of my body things. So yes we're going to talk about my body which is a pretty neat device. So to start this, I just completed participating in a clinical trial of Lantus. This is because I'm a Type II Diabetic. It makes life lots of fun and for a while I really didn't take care of it. I ended up in the hospital near death. That's not hyperbole, it's the truth. my sugars were averaging about 18, which should be between 4 and 7, and my triglycerides were somewhere around 22, when it should be 3. I should be dead, luckily my wonderful body is pretty damn tough.

I have however been taking much better care of myself over the past few years and my last visit had these wonderful benchmarks. My A1c is continuing to lower, I lost 4kg (That's close to 9 lbs for you non-metric folks) and all my other stats (blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, etc.) are all in the normal range. And I FEEL healthier. My eyesight is better, my energy levels are up, I'm not constantly tired after eating. However there is still one thing about my fabulous body that makes some of this difficult.

Thing is I'm hypersensitive. My sense of touch, smell, taste, and hearing are all exceptional. When I quit smoking the smells around me are so intense that it actually becomes physically painful in certain situations. Like heavily applied perfumes. MAN, that just about kills me now, let alone when my sense of smell is at full tilt. I can pick out separate tastes in what I eat, I can hear the tiniest noises (and can grow ever increasingly irritated by them) and the whole touch thing?

Well the plus side is it makes my wonderfully good at finding aches and pains on other people. The subtle changes in heat, skin tension, and reaction to touch makes finding them easy. And ladies? It also makes me a very appreciative and reactive intimate partner. I basically turn into one huge erogenous zone during sex. It's very fun.

The flip side is I get incredibly irritated with clothes. Keys in my pocket, hell even too much change, causes me to get pissy. I never enjoyed boxers, cuz when my boys are moving too free it really gets bothersome. And the needles... Since I have to inject myself with insulin every day, I was told repeatedly, 'Oh you'll get used to it.' Guess what? I haven't. I can feel the steel slide into my flesh, and even holding the insulin pen perfectly still, I can still feel the invader in my flesh. Blood tests, IVs, everything that goes into me is HIGHLY disturbing. So I don't think I will ever get used to it. But I also have had to learn incredible control when it comes to how much I feel, so I can shut it out for brief periods. But thinking about it without enacting that control? Just makes me grit my teeth and get all kinds of pissy.

But overall, the SWC is in good health.

Frustrations

Come on in while I pace. I tried just letting it go, and moving forward but some things just tend to stick in my mind like a bone in the throat. It frustrates and aggravates me. I get all pissy and until I get it out it is going to stick there.

See here's the thing. I look white. I have pale skin, and I don't talk like I came from a reserve. I don't go 'ahhhhh' and stick out my tongue, I don't pepper my language with little Cree-isms, and I freely admit I never grew up in a traditional manner. Somehow this is my fault.

On the flip side of this I have spent a great deal of time understanding the overall experience. Listening to elders, reading what is out there with a critical eye and watching. Always watching.

So why the fuck do I get flack for speaking with authority in a class about First Nations research? Because I did the reading, as well as a lot of other reading on the subject, since this is EXACTLY what I plan to do with my degree, and I have enough confidence to speak in class, but because I'm not 'Indian' enough I get told things like 'Well what you don't understand is that First Nations are humble. We would never talk about our history like that.' WHAT?!

Oh yeah, that Pequis guy, he was real humble. Wrote up the head commissioner for Indian Affairs and said 'Dude, you fucking with my shit, fix it or else.' Sitting Buffalo, that guy, real humble. Chief Kahkawistahaw, he was so humble when he signed treaty and told the commissioner signing it, 'My history says you will try to take more. But I refuse, because my nation must have land.' the GW in B.C., REAL humble when they forced the courts to finally accept oral traditions as legitimate history.

Yeah we got a real huge traditional of humility. Bullshit. We got a real history of meekness. Of being beaten so often we figure, why fight? And that tone, like I don't have a clue what I talking about. If I remember correctly, the bitch who said it was one of the people during our discussion group who said 'I never finished the reading.' Shut yer fucking dumbass mouth. You don't have the time to do the damn REQUIRED reading but you got more than enough time in class to speak up and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? Gonna tell me 'Well you're white so you don't know.' I call bullshit again.

Damnit I just get so pissed when folks lay preconceived notions down and essentially act as racist as the system they're trying to change. Good job y'fucking hypocrite.

Sporting insanity

Come on in and grab a stump. I'm going to need your attention and your ear to make sure you understand what I'm saying. And most folks are going to have a knee jerk reaction that might not be entirely based on fact.

To start with, I get really frustrated listening to sporting pundits talk about how boring something was. UFC 119 wasn't the best card they've ever put on but there was some damn entertaining fights, and while the Mir/"Cro Cop" fight wasn't a barn burning (And who expected it to be? "Cro Cop" came in on short notice and Mir was motivated to fight a different guy) it had an exciting finish one that happened so fast it took multiple replays before I totally understood what happened.

And there were a couple fights that went the distance where I wasn't entirely sure who won. Overall the card wasn't huge but it was entertaining. The problem seems to be that some folks were complaining about the lackluster drive some of the fighters seemed to show. And the excuses given at the press conference at the end had a lot of people saying 'I just couldn't get off' or 'I couldn't find my timing.' So on and so forth.

And man, except for like one post, almost every single MMA news site out there is just EVISCERATING the event. Like the devil himself shoved his thumb up their ass and gave their prostate a shock. And not the good kind that makes you cum, I'm talkin' that bad kind they use on the minks.

Let's contrast this to the previous event. Everyone LOVED that one. It was exciting and full of action. And the guy who lost in the main event just got popped for steroid use.

What do these things have to do with one another? Let me explain.

Abuse of steroids, as in constant use that drives massive muscle growth, is damaging to the body, and to various internal organs. Especially the synthetic stuff. Strangely though, there is no actual medical studies that link any specific ailments to steroid abuse. However ex-pro athletes who have abused steroids have shown an increase in joint (ligament and tendon) damage and a greater propensity to things like liver disease, certain cancers, and kidney issues. However, I stress again that there have been NO DIRECT MEDICAL STUDIES THAT HAVE LINKED THEM. This is all anecdotal observations.

Now you have to remember that steroids have been used in medical situations for YEARS. It's used to deal with massive body injuries, like burns, because it speeds healing. It's used as a part of hormonal treatment for men who are not producing enough. It's used in large muscle tears to help healing, and it is used to help late stage cancer patients.

And in athletes it has an actual medical use that can improve their ability to perform and decrease the chance for injuries. When you do long term training, your testosterone level, especially when older than 30, does not always return to it's full rate. And when you're talking about athletes that train usually twice a day, 3 or 4 hours a sessions, 5 or more days a week, their body cannot come back as quickly. So their testosterone level steadily drops. This means less muscle repair, and more fatigue. So by the time it comes to fight, after a solid 6 month training camp, these guys are completely drained. No testosterone in their system and their muscles are heavily damaged without proper repair.

So here's the thing. It's time to play reality. Reality is that steroids used properly, on small cycles through training allow an athlete to achieve more, to be better prepared and to increase training. this will allow them to perform better overall. If this is used properly it does not allow dramatic increases in muscle gain, but instead allows an athlete to better recover. When steroids are over-used, or abused, then it turns out massive muscle growth. If this use was regulated, rather than shoved underground, perhaps we could have more entertaining sports, with longer lasting, healthier athletes, without the detrimental aspects. But then again, that's going to require someone to step up and actually do the studies.

And it's time to play reality again. Do you want the always exciting cards, the ever improving athletes, who are always ready to fight, or do you want things to be 'honest.' Because as we all know using anything is cheating. Hell, Evander Holyfield was accused of cheating because he didn't lift weights, instead used electricity to do a a controlled twitch through his muscles.

Honest was what happened last night. Most likely both men were not on proper steroid cycles due to the change in opponent and neither was at their peak to perform. And that's just it. Steroids do not make super athletes. There's a lot more to sports than just physical attributes. Hell, look at Gretzky, that dude never trained, saved it all for game day, was the weakest, least agile athlete when compared with other sports but was the greatest hockey player ever. Because the skill, that's what matters. The steroids just ensure a continual use of that skill over a greater amount of time. When it isn't abused.

So again, we have a situation where knee jerk reactions have driven something to an underground status, when if we as a society had just said 'Ok that's new' and treated it like any other medicine we'd be able to properly regulate and protect people.

Whaddyamean I'm not 18 still?!

Come on in, the weather is beautiful, so the fire is low, perfect for cooking, and the skins are pulled back to let in all that wonderful fall air. I got some left over dry ribs for the folks that don't feel like cooking.

So here's the thing. In case I've never explained this, I've got an unbelievably high pain tolerance. I don't know something is hurt until it stops working. Like my shoulder. Which is completely jacked. I'm pretty sure I've done something inhumanly nasty to it. It's been limited in motion for most of the past year. It doesn't look even, the muscles in my shoulder don't look right. Overall it's just a bad situation. It started with some football. I was helping the kids with blocking, picking up blitzes, using my body as the blocking dummy. Someone caught my shoulder in a bad way, and it felt funny. But that didn't stop me. Cuz I'm still that tough 18 year old that can heal from anything in an instant and am relatively indestructible.

So I keep using it normally, it gets hit a bit more, I do push ups with the guys, and then later that night, I go play dodgeball. Throwing the ball full tilt at people. With the right arm that has the fucked up shoulder.

And I continue like this. Because it doesn't really hurt. And I can still use it. Until one night after dodgeball my arm just wouldn't lift. Couldn't go up at all.

So I've done some physio, and tried not to use that arm. I'm quite competent with my left hand anyways, being ambiconfused. And it's more than a year later and while it isn't fully mobile yet, it's still way better. It moves almost in a full circle and I can use it to lift stuff again without any issues. So I'm on the long road to recovery for my joint issue.

Until this last Friday. Playing dodgeball. See I tend not to throw. I'm quite good at catching, and dodging, and will sacrifice myself so someone can get somebody else out, and so we can keep the balls on our side, so y'know, I'm still useful. but with increased mobility and my own mistaken belief that I am somehow still 18, I get a guy right near me on the line, and a ball in hand and I just whip it at him.

And feel like something inside my shoulder suddenly burst into flames. Then the arm went numb. And I couldn't lift it for the rest of the game. Sure some other guy on the team went all wussy and quit when his elbow started to hurt a bit, but me, I kept playing. And kept making catches. And was still useful. And it actually hurt. I know it's a bad bad thing when I can actually feel the pain, and it makes me nauseous.

And now, every single muscle group that makes up my rotator cuff is locked up and my arm barely moves again.

I'm a fucking idiot.

Economists are EEVUL!

Thanks for stoppin' by, I've got some yummy veggies, and fruit of course, but we've already discussed the Apples and Bananas. I'm gonna lean back here and enjoy a smoke while you watch the fire.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dream lucidly, and usually my dreams, even when they're totally surreal, still make sense. This one. Not so much. Apparently I had to gather a good deal of money for some unexplained reason, and the only way to get this money was to defeat various economists in debates and financial challenges. And man, those economists are vicious.

So it starts with some need of money and I explain to my buddy Neo that I need to get this money, but never why, but hey, Neo, he's my pal he's down with whatever we need to do. We contact the Ringmaster and cenobyte, and off we go to the training montage.

Have you ever thought what a training montage for battling economists would be? Well no need to ponder anymore, I can tell you! There was even cheezy 80s music from a Rocky film. There I am on a stationary bike, while I'm surrounded by people reading financial papers out loud. Quick cut, there I am running down a street, a cig in my mouth and bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper in my hand, while ceno on a moped shouts the three letter stock exchange title for companies, while I name the companies. Quick cut, there I am in a whirlpool swilling beer, while being indoctrinated by the policies of greed by Ringmaster. Quick cut, there I am watching Jim Cramer. Quick cut, I run stairs in an office building, stealing people's inter-office mail, in what I can only assume is somehow related to economists.

And then the battles begin. Here the dream started getting hazy, cuz I think I had to get up to pee, but still, what little I remember was enough for me to realize I never EVER wanna fight with an economist. Not cuz I'll lose, but because they fight dirty and cheat. And that's MY method of fighting. Fuckers. *shakes fist*

Coaching and Penguins

Come on in, the sky is overcast, it's drizzling a bit, and I'm currently listening to 'Down With the Sickness' by Disturbed. OH and there is stirfry. Tasty stuff, red curry sauce soooo good.

Ok so everyone is bitching about the punt thing that Miller called for at the end of the last game against Calgary. That was the least of our worries folks. Remember a while back when I said, 'Look for the WTF moments?' Well a bunch happened in that game. Offensively there were some really questionable play calls which again reinforces the fact that Berry is a nipplehead. But the big one came on defense and has been an issue before.

Ok so here's the thing. We know that for the vast majority of plays that happen on the goal line that a run will happen. It is the least risk, highest pay off way to get the TD. So on Second and goal on the three yard line, why the FUCK was Kitwana Jones an interior lineman? And don't give me that 'there were injuries' bullshit because Mullander wasn't on the field. I know Mullander is an exterior DL but please, you can't teach BIG and that's what you need in those situations. Like for fucks sake, we take all the big guys from the DL and put them on the OL for our short yardage, why don't we do the same on defense? They don't need to tackle, just keep the pile from being pushed back, and then let someone like say KITWANA, who is quick and tackles incredible well to fill and pick up the runner. Would make way more sense. But nope, instead we put all two hundred and twenty pounds of KJ in there and he gets blown out of the blocks and ends up on his back, and where he was is a huge hole for Calgary to score. BAD CALL.

So now that I've vented that, let me move on to Happy Feet. You folks watched this entirely too cute movie before? Got it for the girls yesterday, and after it was over (With me being the big suck that I am crying) I asked my Little Crow, 'Did you understand the message?' And she got all serious (Because we have these talks, these lessons sometimes and she focuses in on me like a freakin' dog in front of raw hamburger) and said 'No daddy.' So I said 'Well at daycare, there is a lot of toys right?'

'Yep there is.'

'And are you allowed to keep them all to play with?'

'Oh no, you hafta share so everyone can have fun.'

'Why?'

'Well it would really be horrible if someone didn't get something to play with.'

'Well what about food. What if the toys were food?'

'I don't wanna be hungry either!'

'Right. That's the message baby. Take only what you need, and share the rest. Think of the others before you just take all you can.'

And so the Little Crow smiles, hugs me good night and clambers down from my lap and heads off to bed, and my not-so-Little Bear goes off to sing her good night (It's their sister good night ritual) and she stops and looks at me. 'Yeah ... we don't share very well do we? Like I mean ... in the world.'

And I can tell she's struggling to find the right words and so I grin at her, 'Yes Little Bear, adults are indeed idiots because we forget what we learned as children.'

She laughed and nodded and went to sing her little sister to sleep.

Again, my girls amaze me, and the world frightens me, and hopefully, like their dad, they never grow up enough to think that sharing is something you don't have to do.

New Look

Hey come on in. The Den got re-arranged a bit here, and I hope it works better. I was using such an old template I decided, hey I should do something so the video's fit, and also, I hated how narrow the text was. So TA-DA!

Of course this somewhat highlights how little I know about the technical aspect of this thing. I couldn't compose HTML if my life depended on it. HAH!! And just after I said I want to be able to do everything. EYE-RON-KNEE!

So I guess this means when I get some time I'll have to learn some HTML. Time... man I wished I had that time turner necklace that Hermoine had in Harry Potter.

Really? You think that huh?

Come on in and grab a stump. Some nice soup is available, home made chicken rice. Y'know what I love most about our talks? You folks. Even the crazy folks over in Germany and Russia who apparently check in regularly. I swear that stat page is freakin' me out.

So interesting situation yesterday: At football practice someone scoffed at me for something I enjoy doing. Now here is the thing. I have never understood how having one trait that can be attributed to you somehow precludes you from others. Never have. Ever. Don't get it. Don't like it either.

See I mentioned LARPing. That's Live Action Role Playing. I love LARPing. I love saying LARPing (G'won say it, you'll enjoy the experience). I love the entire concept of bending my entire imagination to doing something completely unlike my life for nothing more than enjoyment. Cuz my imagination is pretty keen.

And one of the kids goes 'What that vampire thing? Do you sparkle?' And there was a guffaw, and I looked at the kid and said 'Nope. But the hot chicks who dress rather scantily sometimes do.' And I felt bad about that, because I made it sound like I went there to try to pick up half nekkid wimmin when that's not that case.

I then asked him, 'Why would you scoff at something that utilizes someones imagination to such a magnificent degree?' Yeah, the kids I coach are starting to get used to big words. Well, except this one who went 'RRrrrrrrrrrrrrwha?' To which I said 'Why would any activity that someone does somehow deserve your insults?' 'I dunno, seems pretty geeky.'

'Ah,' sez I in my wise old man manner, 'so does that make me a geek?' And he doesn't know what to do so I smile and say, 'answer honestly, it's ok.' And he kinda quickly nods, hoping that some lightning bolt, or a coach won't suddenly crush his soft skull.

'Ah,' sez I in my all-too-knowing voice, 'But this is one geek who could strap on the pads and still wipe the floor with you. Let alone if you were to cross the span of time to try it while I was in high school as well.' And suddenly he gets all frightened and I chuckle, in my foolish-child-suffering way. 'Naw, don't sweat it. But don't ever think that one activity precludes you from another.'

And that I think is the thing that bugs me. It's not even a social thing, or a bully thing, or trying to teach a lesson, although one was learned. What bugs me is this idea that we should be good at like one or two things and that's it. To quote Heinlein: 'A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.'

When did we forget that we are not specialists? Well we are, in the ability to think ahead, but beyond that we're the ultimate generalists. We should be able to do it all!! Now truly, those that become great in any particular field most likely bent a considerable amount of their energy to that one goal but I'd bet my left testicle that they were damn good at a number of things.

So if you wish to continue in your bug-like ways, feel free. Me, I'm gonna continue in my own way, able to do it all and feel comfortable in just about any situation thrown at me.

I lurve dis guy

Come on in and stare at the fire...

From one brother to another

Come on in, feel free to enjoy the nice fire and some tasty chicken. Mmmmm, chicken bones for soup. So normally I don't write to just one person but this, this is meant for only one. However there are things in it that anyone can benefit from.

I could go back and reference a lot of things I've written before but for you, my brother, I have some very specific things I need to say to you, things you need to hear, but things you need to hear on your own time and in your own way. Unfortunately situations like this require both the security of the closeness of a friend and the distance to find your own way. So I chose this method to allow you the place and time to do it as you see fit.

So here is the list of things to remember in this time of trouble:

1) Whatever you think is going to happen, whatever you hope is going to happen, and whatever you're being told is going to happen, don't believe it. Plan for the absolute worst situation possible, and act from there. Keep in mind two very very important marker posts to base your judgements off of, the welfare of your immortality and the your own well being. Nothing else matters. Take that to heart.

2) Stoicism is a great thing in certain situations. Not this one. Feel what you need to feel and express it to those you trust. The only way out to the other end of this one is finding out what you are capable of feeling and where your values lie.

3) Get the right council. Both as a specific and as general. Do not listen to the bitter or the hatred, do not listen to the hopeful or the joyous. Listen to the even tempered and those that are looking out for the same two things I said to value.

4) Know that not only do I love you, would live, kill, and die for you, but others do as well. Lean on them as you need. Never be afraid to ask them for help, because they will not see it as a duty, or a weakness in you, instead the way they can show their love.

5) Do not procrastinate on anything to do with the situation. Handle it as quickly as possible so there are no questions to your passion, values, or commitment.

6) There is going to be bitterness, anger, betrayal, self-recriminations, and questions of your own worth. Feel them, work through them, tell those you need to tell, but do not let those things rule your actions. When you doubt, tell us. We can be strong for you in those times.

Brother, I wish you love, happiness and all the things you deserve, but I know those things will only come with time. Don't worry about them now, or what you think you might deserve, right now you have a duty and a job to do. Do it as you would any other job in front of you, with your full attention and faculties, eyes wide open, and throw yourself at it with dedication. We're with you.

The li'llest 'Rider fan

Come on in, I have some fruit, and some tortilla chips with salsa. The place is mostly picked up and we're getting back into the swing of things.

Listening to the radio this afternoon, and on Blue Sky they had some 'Riders on and were doing listener call-ins with their favorite 'Rider memories, and of course, this sparked my own, and I thought about phoning in, and then remembered, I needed to go throw up (Ugh, ate something bad today) and so never did call. Thus, it shall be shared with you all.

I took Little Bear to her first live 'Rider game. She would have been around 5 or 6, and had a couple years of soccer, with yours truly as coach, and she knew about good sportsmanship, and loved the 'Riders cuz she loved her dad. For those of you worried, she's becoming a 'Rider fan again on her own terms now, but back then, it was all about her daddy.

So there we are, up in the stands, and right next to us are these two delightful older chaps who have taken a liking to Little Bear and share their peanuts with her, and she decides to tell them both about all the great things about coming to a football game, and how it was her first, and mostly it boiled down to how great it was to be there with her dad and of course have peanuts. She charmed the hell out of those two gentlemen.

The game starts, and it was a good back and forth game, and me, I cheer for any good play, just way louder when it's the 'Riders who make the play, and so does Little Bear, taking her cues from me. Unfortunately we had one of those fans who thinks getting really drunk and belligerent at a football game is the thing to do right behind us. And he's swearing and cursing out the 'Riders and opponent alike, getting louder and louder. At half time, he leaves to get more beer, and I look over at the two older chaps and they go 'That guy, every game, like that. Gettin' sick of it.' They nod and hum and haw at each other. Obviously they're not happy about my Little Bear getting an earful of drunken swearing and attitude, and frankly, neither am I. When he comes back, I'm about to turn around and say something to the guy, when Little Bear beat me to it. She turns and looks at this guy and says 'Y'know, if you don't have anything good to say, you shouldn't say anything at all,' in her most princess sounding voice, filled with contempt and wisdom in equal measure.

There was some laughter and the drunk starts to stand up, thunderclouds in his eyes as he stares at my Little Bear, who is still calmly looking at the man like he is beneath her and should take a lesson from her. I get up and I'm ready to tool this guy, even if it means getting tossed out at half time, as being completely worth my time. And that's when the two old gents with the peanuts also stand up and the one pokes the drunk and says 'Been a long time coming young man, you just get too loud and annoying at these games, so y'best shuttup before a whole group of us makes it so you hafta shuttup.'

Drunk and Belligerent stares around at a good half dozen folks who all have stood up and are more than willing to back up Little Bear's proclamation of civility, and he goes some what blurry and wavers down to his seat and does what all stupid drunks do, makes an excuse about how he was just having fun and everyone else is getting too serious.

The rest of the game was quite fun, with Little Bear becoming the unofficial spokesperson for that section and being treated to a lot of drinks, peanuts, and popcorn. Amazing how the simple view of a child about what is right and wrong can spur us stupid and lazy adults to do what we should have done a long time ago.

The Big Three Five!

Come on in, the weather has turned, which might be a bit of a blessing overall. I have a lot of fresh fruit for everyone to enjoy, like Apples and Bananas!

Thirty five. Yep, today I turn thirty five. Y'want some scary true thoughts? About 25 years ago, I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it to this age. Hell even 20 years ago I still had some doubt if I'd make it. And I'm not talking about being unable to imagine myself as this age, because I could. I mean I really thought I wouldn't make it. I'm just too volatile sometimes, and figured I'd be put down like a rabid dog somehow, somewhere, before I ever got past 30.

And no, it wasn't a death wish, the depression and suicidal thoughts didn't come until later. It was an honest belief that I would be dead because of some stupid shit I would get into before I got there.I've always been one of those folks that cannot have a situation described to me, I really need to experience it. So I've tried a LOT of crazy stuff.

So this here is a shout out to all my family and friends, who obviously realize what an idiot I am and how I turn into a complete dumb ass when a new experience is presented to me, yet have stuck by me and in most cases made sure this ole mangy beast managed to make it home alive.

And of course, full birthday policy in full effect. :)

Two elephants.

Come on in, the weather has been insane, and what with my schedule it hasn't been used in a while. So come sit down while I dust off a few things in here, and pick up all the crap that's accumulated, and you can listen to me talk about large things that get ignored.

Let's start with the more obscure elephant in the room. BJ Penn. Oh how I love to watch you get your pudgy Hawai'ian ass beat. A ton of MMA sites are going over all the shit about this latest loss, and doing all this speculation, like he's over-rated, or he's not wanting to fight, blah blah blah blah. Only one site even came out and said what really is the problem and they did it in such a spineless way, the majority of retards who read the post won't have a clue what it means.

BJ, if you read this, and I hope you do, GET A REAL FUCKING COACH!! Stop listening to your cadre of yes men, ball huggers, and ass lickers, and get on a real fucking team, stop deluding yourself that you have even a small inkling of what you need to do to be a champion, let alone teach others to live like one, and get a real goddamn camp. You can afford it you rich ass little punk.

Ok, next pack-a-derm. 'Riders. And all 'Rider fans. I want you to listen to me very closely and know that I'm not trying to vilify anyone, I'm just trying to make something painfully clear. The problems we're having? It's not the players. The players are some of the best in the league. I would say that overall, the 'Riders are one of the most talented teams in the CFL. It's the coaches.

We lost both our coordinators, our special team coach, and they got replaced with whatever retard they could find. Etchvery is a fucking retard. His 'big risk/big payoff' defensive schemes, which are barely two dimensional, usually only mean one thing: big gain for the opposition. And rarely, if ever, do they make half-time adjustments!

And Berry... oh if I could just get one minute alone with you, and your playbook. I'd either shove that thing up your ass, where it might actually make a difference, or at least teach you a sequence of plays that will work you nipple head.

(Brief Interlude)

Me: Ok Doug, here's the situation. You're in a HUGE wet paper bag. You have three options. One, is this machete here. Two is using your BARE HANDS to just rip up the bag, and three is this tasty doughnut. Which will it be?

Doug: And I have to get out of the bag right?

Me: That's right Doug.

Doug: Can I still have the doughnut after I get out of the bag?

Me: Sure Doug, you do things however you want, the possibilities with the tools you have are endless.

Doug: Is there a chair in the bag?

Me: What? No, no chair Doug.

Doug: Damn. Cuz I like to sit down when I eat a doughnut.

Me: Doug, you have to get out of the bag. If you don't get out of the bag, you'll eventually be suffocated by collapsing wet paper. I mean a bag that big has a lot of paper and water and ...

Doug: Really?! Oh shit I better eat this doughnut first thing. By the way, where is the doughnut?
Me: There is no real doughnut Doug, we're talking a hypothetical here, a mental exercise to demonstrate your planning and coaching acumen.

Doug: Well why did you bother with all this paper bag and doughnut thing if there is no ACTUAL doughnut. Screw you buddy, I'm gonna go get a box of doughnuts!

Me: Uhm... Doug. You can't, you're still in the paper bag.

Doug: Really? Oh well I'm just going to sit here till I get my doughnut!

Me: Right. You have fun with that Doug.

And... don't even get me started on that fucking John Daly bullshit. We fired his ass for being a slacktastic head coach, why oh why would we hire him back to coach special teams!! He says he needs to coach better, but y'know what John?! You can only coach so well, and I think we've surpassed your talents just by expecting you to show up on time!

So. Next time you watch a game, just wait to see any player on the field, after a call in from the coaches give the 'WTF!?' look to the sidelines. I promise you'll see it.