Come on in while I pace. I tried just letting it go, and moving forward but some things just tend to stick in my mind like a bone in the throat. It frustrates and aggravates me. I get all pissy and until I get it out it is going to stick there.
See here's the thing. I look white. I have pale skin, and I don't talk like I came from a reserve. I don't go 'ahhhhh' and stick out my tongue, I don't pepper my language with little Cree-isms, and I freely admit I never grew up in a traditional manner. Somehow this is my fault.
On the flip side of this I have spent a great deal of time understanding the overall experience. Listening to elders, reading what is out there with a critical eye and watching. Always watching.
So why the fuck do I get flack for speaking with authority in a class about First Nations research? Because I did the reading, as well as a lot of other reading on the subject, since this is EXACTLY what I plan to do with my degree, and I have enough confidence to speak in class, but because I'm not 'Indian' enough I get told things like 'Well what you don't understand is that First Nations are humble. We would never talk about our history like that.' WHAT?!
Oh yeah, that Pequis guy, he was real humble. Wrote up the head commissioner for Indian Affairs and said 'Dude, you fucking with my shit, fix it or else.' Sitting Buffalo, that guy, real humble. Chief Kahkawistahaw, he was so humble when he signed treaty and told the commissioner signing it, 'My history says you will try to take more. But I refuse, because my nation must have land.' the GW in B.C., REAL humble when they forced the courts to finally accept oral traditions as legitimate history.
Yeah we got a real huge traditional of humility. Bullshit. We got a real history of meekness. Of being beaten so often we figure, why fight? And that tone, like I don't have a clue what I talking about. If I remember correctly, the bitch who said it was one of the people during our discussion group who said 'I never finished the reading.' Shut yer fucking dumbass mouth. You don't have the time to do the damn REQUIRED reading but you got more than enough time in class to speak up and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? Gonna tell me 'Well you're white so you don't know.' I call bullshit again.
Damnit I just get so pissed when folks lay preconceived notions down and essentially act as racist as the system they're trying to change. Good job y'fucking hypocrite.
3 comments:
Yeah, it'd be really nice if race wasn't an issue at all.
Is there a way to understand what they're saying if you take the race question out if it, period?
Part of it was the tone. The suggestion that there is no way I could ever understand. Not to mention the stink-eye I got from her as she left the class.
...so then do you think to her it wouldn't have mattered if you were Sitting Bull himself (not 'Sitting Butt', which is what I first typed)? I mean, maybe she really just hated what you were saying but didn't know how to disagree/argue with you?
*I* don't know. I think this whole "you're not Indian enough to understand" business is pretty ridiculous. Like it makes any difference where your ancestors came from, if you're talking about research methods. I mean, does that mean *I* have no authority talking in a class about First Nations?
Or maybe she's just a douche and that's the easy answer...
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